Dirty Talk

re: Grandpa's a Honey! Okay, I had to think about this one for awhile... but I have to say the only thing I can suggest is rubbing oil or bees wax into your wood, so that it acts as a protective barrier to any dirt (or honey!). Your wood will love you for it. As for your Grandpa, maybe a cute reminder would work. Take some construction paper, cut out a circle, and glue it to the top of the honey jar. Write in something like 'Please wash-up, Honey!' or the like. :) I think it's sweet (er, pun not originally intended...) that you have lovingly cleaned up each time with no fuss to your Granddad. :) Don't see that kind of respect from a lot of folks these days. :) Take care. Hope it helps!

Debra, your question regarding your ice and water dispenser reminded me of an episode that concerned a mucked up sauna-tub. What Aggie ended up doing was use a few dishwasher tabs (like electrosol, here in the US) dissolved in a bucket. She had them soak into the tub (and ran the lines) for a good while and it kicked up all sorts of filth (ew!) --so maybe try one tablet and rub it through the dispenser a few times. You could also try adding some jet dry OR run the last couple of times with white vinegar. Hope this helps. :)

For the rust cry for help... I would suggest scrubbing off what rust you can see, first, with baking soda (bicarbonate of soda) paste. Once the cooker is clean, use a dab of oil and polish the cooker. The oil will act as a barrier between the moist air and water that would otherwise feed the rust. It will be a problem from here on out, but if you treat it regularly with a bit of oil, it will lessen the likelihood of the rust returning to say hello!

Just about to cry? Is the onion so strong, you just want to die? Try cutting it while it is submersed in water. You may need to use a large tuperware or foot tub to support your cutting board. Then just strain for the onion bits and use as you will. (If you plan to saute the onion, be sure to paper towel off the excess water, first!)

Re: "Essential oils" (i.e. lavender oil) question from a US user -- Look for an herbal shop, health foods shop, or a metaphysical shop. You might also have a go at a natural cosmetics shop (usually something only in large cities-- I saw one last, in Toronto). Otherwise, you might try as a next to the last resort, the candle/soap making aisle at a place like Hobby Lobby or Michaels/MJ Designs. All else fails: Google it. :D Good luck!

For the bonfire dog pee dilemma-- try a urine remover with enzymes, or a laundry detergent with enzymes (also called biological powder) --mixed with a bit of water, so it's like paste. Leave it overnight, then wet-vac it up (or blot it up with a lot of papertowels or old rags). Also, I've heard piling salt does well on fresh stains, for soaking up the liquid (let dry, then vacuum up the salt crumbles). Good luck. --I just found runny poo on our white carpet. ;o;

Ant bites -- good enough on fire ants in Texas, so should be good for any ant bite: Dab a bit of vinegar, bleach, or dish washing detergent (liquid) to counteract the venom in the bite. And to take care of the ants themselves-- make a moat of water around the antbed, then a little farther out, sprinkle dry cream of wheat. The ants will eat the dry food, and when they drink the water, their bodies won't handle the expansion.

Inker's tip -- to clean motor oil from your skin (even after a good scrub with soap), rub your hands with vegetable oil and salt (at least a tablespoon). Follow up with oil soap, then regular soap --or follow up with a liquid soap containing exfoliants.

For blood stains: Wet the fabric (cold water only!), then rub with handsoap. Add a capful or more of hydrogen peroxide to the stain and let stand. Rinse after 5-10 minutes, then repeat (this time in reverse, capful, then rub with soap). After 5 more minutes, rinse. If it's not too old a stain, it should come right out.

Problem with flies or roaches? Leave out a saucer with wine and vinegar. The sweetness from the wine will draw them in, and the vinegar will kill them. Alternately, use a mason jar with a small volume of wine. Put a layer of saran wrap atop it and make sure to puncture some holes. (They may be a bit tipsy so won't find the exits!)

First tip! :) I read someone had trouble with marks from their child's bath-toys on the tub. I would try using a good baking-soda based toothpaste with a cleaning toothbrush on the marks. If that doesn't do it, use baking soda on half a lemon or lime (be sure to puncture the half with a fork a bit, so it gets juicy). Good luck! (LOVE this show. <3)